One of my sabbatical activities is finally exploring some creative writing projects. I signed up for an online writing class through Stanford’s Continuing Studies program, and today was my first day! In this class, we are given a daily writing prompt, and we are supposed to write 30 – 60 minutes each weekday, with the option to work in a small group to provide each other feedback and support.
I’ve always had ideas to write about, but let fear stop me from ever writing or fleshing those ideas out. Inspiration would come inconsistently, randomly, and always at inopportune moments. And if I did think about actually writing, I’d always tell myself, “My idea is not any good, there’s hundreds and thousands of people out there that could write about that same idea, and do a better job.” Fear of imperfection was the dictating force.
But I think the idea of writing for the sake of writing is refreshingly neutral – there is no “goal” aside from the act itself. I was especially heartened to read the instructor’s encouragement to the class: “Please try to set aside your FOQ (fear of quality) and silence your inner critic. Whether you’re a “good” or a “bad” writer is not only subjective but irrelevant to our purposes. No one in here will judge you, so try not to judge yourself. Your best writing will come from a place of fearlessness and exploration and joy, and I hope that in return this creative practice brings more joy into the rest of your life as well. ”
Frankly, my inner critic is loud as fuck, so this is gonna be a challenge. But hopefully with this being a daily exercise, the repetition will help me get over my fear.
Earlier this year I read Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art. In it, he describes a phenomenon he calls “The Resistance” – which, among other things, is the fear that keeps us from pursuing our dreams and doing “the thing” we want to do – the fear that we won’t do a good job. The fear that convinces us that it’s better to not even try.
“Resistance is experienced as fear; the degree of fear equates to the strength of Resistance. Therefore the more fear we feel about a specific enterprise, the more certain we can be that that enterprise is important to us and to the growth of our soul. That’s why we feel so much Resistance. If it meant nothing to us, there’d be no Resistance.”
Steven Pressfield
One of the ways the artist combats this Resistance is by showing up, every day, and doing the work. Doing “the thing.” To sit down and just write (in this case), every day.
My goal is to write every weekday, in the morning, for at least 20 minutes. Hopefully on some days when I am inspired I will write more. But with this specific and attainable goal of 20 minutes, fingers crossed that I can meet this goal even on days that my brain feels like it’s full of incoherent mush.
Another reason I started this blog was to have some sort of accountability for my daily writing, even if no one actually ends up reading this blog and the accountability is illusory. By sharing my writing, even some of the writings that I think suck or have no value, hopefully I can conquer my fear. I’ll be doing The Thing.